How can I attract my husband is the most frequently asked question by a lot of women, who want to save their marriage.

There was a time when you were very attractive to your husband. That component must be groomed continually. Losing that attraction is what causes the marriage to become stale and boring. 

Can you remember a time when your husband was goo-goo over you. What was it that attracted you to him and him to you? Men are wired differently than women as you well know. Men are stimulated more by sight than women. Women are stimulated more by touch than by sight. A man is attracted to a woman by her beauty. A woman is attracted to a man she can respect and be emotionally connected to. A  woman should want to continually be attractive and desirable to her husband. That truly ought to be your goal in marriage.

I'm sure you have heard the parable that men want sex and women want love. Often men will give love to get sex. Women will often give sex to get love. Why is that? It is the way God made men and women so they would complement each other and be able to stay married for their entire life. Whether a man is young or old, he is still wanting physical attraction to be a part of their marriage. I'm sure a woman wants that as well but it is much more important to the man. In the animal kingdom, the male is the most beautiful one. But to us humans, the woman needs to be the most attractive she can be. But being attractive is not just looking good or being beautiful on the physical side. 

Number one, how can I be attractive to my husband?

The longer you are married the more your relationship will change, both physically and emotionally. We often take each other for granted and slowly but surely become complacent and unattractive to our spouse. Why does that happen? Because we're human. But we can change that and we must if we want our marriage to last and to be a happy one. Some believe there's no escaping this and have given up hope that their marriage can be filled with love and passion again. You can make that happen!

Making yourself attractive to your husband is not easy. It will not come naturally, you'll have to work on it. To achieve this, you must once again as you did in the beginning put your husband, your lover, first. This is easy because your natural instinct is to put your children and your friends above him. Somewhere along the line we revert back to wanting to get compliments and approval from our friends, rather than from our spouse. And of course, women are built with the natural instinct to love their children and to provide the proper care for them. many times that becomes a detriment to their spouses and their attraction to them.

Your physical appearance is very important to your man. Dress to please him. What makes you look good and attractive to him. Don't be in your worst clothing at home. When you're home alone with your husband, make yourself beautiful. You don’t have to dress  as you would when you go to work or out on town. Don’t slack off too much. Find ways to look good even though you are relaxed or doing work around the house. The better you look when he is looking the more attractive you will be to him.

Looking Good On The Inside.

Enough on the physical. I think most of us know how to look good on the outside. But how do we look good on the inside? Being attractive to your spouse emotionally is even more important, then looking attractive on the outside. Especially as you grow older together.

Learning to listen to your husband to continually discover what makes you emotionally attracted to him should be most important to you. Men are often careful about sharing their feelings. They aren't as chatty as women are, but all men love a good conversation when the wife listens intently and want to understand them. All of us want to be understood. men especially want to be respected when they communicate their feelings. Many times they do not share their feelings because they are afraid they will not be respected. Your husband needs your respect. It is probably the greatest need he has in your relationship.

When you find out what he feels is important to him, you must carefully find ways to zero in on those feelings. Once he starts feeling like you care about him and his feelings, he will open up more and more. He doesn't want you to solve his problems. He simply wants you to listen and understand what he's going through and what he feels. He will share with you what his needs are and then you must find ways to meet those needs.

Many times our communication in our marriage becomes unhealthy. bickering, criticism, complaining, nagging. Derogatory remarks become commonplace bringing great hurt and disappointment in our marriage. This is when you need to practice the art of respect and admiration. When a man feels respected and admired by his woman, he will cling to her and want to be with her as much as possible. He feels recharged and energized around her. Men cherish and appreciate those that build their ego.The more you compliment him, the more he'll do for you because he wants more of the same. Sometimes a woman feels like there's little they can do to complement their husband. It is easy to get in the habit of only seeing the negative and the problems of your spouse.Or reminding him repeatedly of the things you want him to accomplish.

Practical Ideas

Here are some practical things to help stimulate your husband to open up to you. When you're alone take time to put a list together of all the things your husband does. Write down some real thought out compliments. Don't be untruthful. Find the good and ignore the bad. When you begin to praise him sincerely and encourage him genuinely, he will trust you and begin to love you more fully again. 

Make a vow to yourself not to be critical or demeaning. It is easy to be hard on the person we love. It is easier to find fault than to find the good. Even if he is to you, don’t respond in like kind. Show him the way to treat you by example. When time passes in a good setting you can tell him that his unkind words are hurtful. We will discuss how to do this in another article. 

Be attracted to him by addressing his emotional and intellectual needs.Learn what makes him tick.:Learn what makes him happy. What is his favorite movie? Watch it with him. What is his favorite snack, get it while you watch the movie. What does he like to talk about when he's with his friends, get interested in those things. Study your husband. Your marriage is worth the effort. the way to a man's heart is through his stomach they say. What's his favorite meal? Where does he like to go to eat? It is hard to be unselfish, but like what he likes. Eventually, he will like what you like as well.

When my youngest daughter was living at home. She was a true female. I didn't take her fishing, hunting, or even camping. I didn't think she liked any of those things or wanted to. She played volleyball at High School and I went to all of her volleyball games. We did some outdoor things that I know she enjoyed like, bike riding, boating, skiing, and playing cards and table games. But she showed no interest in manly outdoor sports. but when she found the love of her life, she began to love the things he loved. After they got married, they would go on camping trips. She learned to shoot a gun and even would go hunting with her husband. She loved it. They go fishing together and even bought a bass boat where they spend time fishing together. Her husband is quite the athlete and loves the outdoors, she makes him very happy by doing all the things he loves by his side. They have one of the healthiest marriages I am aware of.

As you are listening to your husband and finally what makes him happy and joining him in that, you still need to be yourself. Your husband does not want a wife that is only all about him. He can feel smothered and overwhelmed. He wants you to be your own person, and have healthy relationships with your friends. Your husband fell in love with you as you are. He wants you to be the woman you were and are meant to be.

 As you become more attractive to your husband, you will not want to lose yourself. You must be who you were meant to be. Be the type of person that has healthy friendships.Having your own friends, activities and life, makes for an interesting marriage. Yes, you put your husband first but you don't lose yourself in the process. The healthier you are the healthier your marriage will be. Some of the indications of being a healthy spouse is having your own dreams and desires. You must have your own outside entertainment while your husband is at work or at play. Both of you living a balanced life leads to a healthy, attractive marriage. 

By Gregory Lee